


i know where you stand (silent in the trees)

by lil_snips



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Hera, Blood, Cutting, Depression, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Gen, Hurt, Parental Hera Syndulla, Sad, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, he just wants a family, i'm sorry kid, poor ezra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_snips/pseuds/lil_snips
Summary: A mission goes wrong and the blame is placed on Ezra.TW for suicidal thoughts and an attempt, along with self harm.





	1. that's where i am

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Broken One](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/359169) by Oceanic Shadows. 
  * Inspired by [Discussions](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/359199) by Secretive Wren 87. 



> hey guys, this is my first fic so please don't judge it too harshly.  
> I started writing this because I thought of a line: "Sabine found him first." and then managed to base the entire fic around that.

It should have been a simple mission. 

Unsurprisingly, things didn’t go as planned. Ezra had detonated the bombs too early, almost killing the crew in the blast. In the last mission he had, his comm was destroyed by a stormtrooper, so he was borrowing Sabine’s. Sabine was using her helmet to stay in contact. 

Ezra had thought that he was following the plan: get the bombs planted, get away, and blow them up on Kanan’s signal. He finished placing the explosives when he heard his master’s voice through the comm. Nothing but a bit of static had come through before then, but he didn’t notice it. “Now...,” he heard. 

The Padawan hit the detonator, watching as the colors and flames jumped up through the air. He didn’t see the piece of shrapnel come flying from the blast, and it ripped a cut through his shoulder. That brought him out of his reverie, and he ran towards the  _ Ghost _ as stormtroopers swarmed the area. He caught sight of Kanan and Zeb pushing the fuel cells as fast as they could towards the ship. 

Sabine used her jetpack to push a crate, literally zooming across the hangar. Ezra used his blaster to shoot down stormtroopers and create a path for Kanan and Zeb. Once they made it to the ship, Hera took to open space.

\---

They set down a few miles from Capital City on Lothal. Hera left Chopper to watch the scanners, and to let them know if anyone or anything came up. 

In the common room, Kanan demanded to know what had happened. “Why didn’t you follow the plan? It was about as simple as it gets! We lost a lot of supplies that could have been useful.  _ And _ you almost killed the three of us!” He exclaimed, rage rolling off of him in waves. 

“You said to hit it when you gave the signal!” 

“Yeah, and I never got the  _ chance  _ to signal, thanks to your reckless actions! Go to your room, I can’t even look at you right now.”

“I don’t think I should, and you can’t ground me.”

“Ezra, just go, now. I’m the leader here, and you need to listen to me,” Kanan said, standing up.

“Why should I?”

“EZRA, LEAVE.” 

“YOU’RE NOT MY PARENT!” Ezra screamed at his master, standing up.

Kanan stepped back, shocked. “From what I understand, you have no one left, so you can go,  _ my padawan _ .” Kanan retaliated, before leaving the room. Ezra stared after him in shock, holding back tears. 

Zeb dug his nails into Ezra’s shoulder angrily. “Great job, kid, now we might not get to eat. You can find a new place to sleep, cause you’re not staying in my room,” the Lasat said, then stalked out. 

Sabine just gave Ezra a disappointed look before leaving.  Hera just left to go fiddle with the environmental controls. 

The blue eyed boy stood in place for a minute. Shaking himself out of his shock, he walked a familiar path to him, down to a nearly full storage room. He knew he would be here for a while, since that was the last mission before they had a break. Ezra wouldn’t have a chance to redeem himself for who knows how long. 

The door whooshed open, revealing a tunnel through the boxes that was similar to the vents he was known for making his way through. He crawled through to the small area in the back that he created for himself when he first came onto the ship. 

There, under a pile of blankets, a knife was hidden. Now that he was alone, he could cry freely. Ezra threw up his mental barriers so it was impossible for Kanan to feel him, let alone find him. 

Stripping of the top part of his flightsuit, he looked at his scarred skin and was disgusted. He unsheathed the knife and began to draw on his arm, drawing bright red blood that flowed steadily as he went deeper for the huge mistake he had made. He took a few bandages from his stock and wrapped them around his wrists and the shoulder that had been hit by shrapnel. He created a nest in the blankets, curled up, and fell asleep, only to find nightmares. 

\---

Early in the morning, Ezra slipped out of his makeshift room, and quietly snuck into his shared room with Zeb. He did a few things quickly, leaving a small note behind, before leaving as if he had never been there. 

In the common room, he took another sheet of paper and wrote again.

 

_ I’ll stay in contact  _ (he grimaced as he wrote the lie)  _ but don’t worry about me. I need some time to think.  _

 

Leaving the message on the dejarik table, he set out across the Lothal plains, not glancing back at the ship he thought he could call home. 


	2. why won't you speak? (where i happen to be)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera realizes Ezra is missing, organizes a search party, and yells at Kanan.

Hera woke with a start, having accidentally fallen asleep at the controls. She groaned and rubbed her face, not fully rested but awake enough to be awake for good. Glancing at the clock, she let out a sigh as she read the time. _Four in the morning is too early to be awake,_ she thought to herself as she stretched before standing up. _Might as well get started with what I can do._

The Twi-lek slid down the ladder the way Sabine had taught her, hands and feet on the outside so you land lighter. _Maybe some caf will help wake me up_. She walked through the common room on the way to the kitchen. A note caught her eye. Hera immediately knew who it was from.

After reading what Ezra had written, she thought for a minute about what to do. The crew had been rather harsh on him, and he probably didn’t want to be around us - especially Kanan after the fight they had yesterday. She decided to wait until the rest of the team woke up to tell them rather than wake them up at this ungodly hour of the morning.

 ---

The rest of the group was up within a few hours, being used to waking up early for missions. Hera called a meeting in the common room, bright and awake from being roused from her sleep. “I found a note this morning from Ezra. He says he’s gone to think things over and that he’ll stay in contact. I know you all are mad at him from yesterday, but I don’t know what time he left or where he is so if it comes down to it, we’re going to go find him.” The look on Kanan’s face darkened slightly from where he stood in the corner of the room.

Zeb grumbled, not quite fully awake. “He wants his out, so he’s got it, right?”

Hera smacked him. “Garazeb Orrelios, Ezra is a good kid and he made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But we’re all alive and that’s what matters. Now go eat so you’ll stop being so dang grumpy, and keep your comms on.”

 ---

The day went on as usual days off did. Sabine was painting in her room, Zeb was napping, Kanan was meditating, and Hera and Chopper were fiddling with the controls of the _Ghost_. Only when the automatic lights came on did Hera realize how late it was.

Calling another meeting, this time in the cockpit, the captain asked if anyone had heard anything from their youngest member. Everyone shook their heads no.

“Sabine, you take a speeder and go towards his old tower. Zeb, you take a speeder into town and see if you can find him there. Kanan and I will stay here. We need to _talk_ about what happened.”

The teenagers guided the speeders down the ramp and set off. As soon as they were out of earshot, a very angry Twi-lek turned to the Jedi and started talking in a pissed off tone. “Kanan Jarrus, do you know what that kid has been through? And then you pull a low blow by pointing out that his parents are dead, which he only found out about a few _weeks_ ago? That’s not okay by any means. He’s just a kid. ”

“Kid or not, he blatantly disobeyed me, and nearly killed half of our crew, not to mention how reckless he’s become lately!  If he’s going to keep this up, maybe we need to reconsider bringing him on.”

“You don’t even know what happened. You haven’t even given him a fair chance to explain what happened.”

“What happened was he blew up a lot of supplies we could have used, along with nearly killing the rest of us. I’m starting to regret bringing him on board.”

“You know he wouldn’t sabotage the mission just because he felt like it. There’s something else there, alright?” Hera said, trying to be gentler though still thoroughly pissed.

“I’ll figure out what happened after the kid gets back safe,” Kanan said, rolling his eyes slightly.

“We might have to go pick the kids up. I’m going to the cockpit. You can join me or not.“

 ---

Miles away, Ezra climbed up to his tower. He stood on the landing, outside of the rail, looking out over endless plains of grass and feeling the wind in his face. His arms ached and dripped blood freely again.

All the times he had messed up, made a mistake, or gotten someone hurt echoed around his mind. The fading sun lit up his face in a soft orange glow. He couldn’t stay here.

  
_Maybe life isn’t for everyone_ , he thought, and let go into a freefall.


	3. i can feel my breath (i can feel my death)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sabine who finds him.

It was Sabine who found him.

At the base of the old communications tower on Lothal, the dark haired boy with the usually vibrant blue eyes lay, unmoving, with limbs splayed out in ways that they shouldn’t be. The sleeves of his flightsuit had been cut off, and his arms had deep slashes, from which blood freely poured. “Ezra!” Sabine cried when she saw him. She froze as she saw the damage that had been done to his body.

“Ez?” she asked cautiously, recovering from the initial shock and kneeling down beside his head. A weak smile came over his face and he opened his eyes the slightest bit before he went limp again. Gently, Sabine placed two fingers on his neck to check for a pulse.

...There! An unsteady, weak rhythm, but there was something there. Reaching for her comm, she spoke into it. “H-Hera? Kanan? I-I need help...it’s...it’s Ezra.” Her voice shook as tears threatened to take over.

Taking a deep breath, she took off her armor and top shirt and ripped her undershirt into strips. She wrapped them tightly around his arms, hoping to stop the blood that came in rivers from his arms.

After a few minutes, nothing had come back through. Sabine tried again, but only got static back. “Karabast,” she cursed, trying to decide what to do. She didn’t know what animals lived on Lothal, but she did know that loth cats would attack humans if they were left alone, and those buzzing flies had to carry some sort of disease.  But moving him could mean injuring him even more, and Sabine wasn’t sure if she had the strength to lift Ezra up onto her speeder.

She sighed, having made up her mind. If she could lay him on the front part of the speeder, then maybe she could make it back to the _Ghost_ without jarring him and making his injuries worse. Sabine got her speeder bike, and pulled it as close as she could to the dark haired boy. “Hey Ez, ya still with me?” she asked the unconscious figure as she checked his pulse one more time. The bandages on his arms were already almost soaked through.

The Mandalorian shook Ezra awake. “This is gonna hurt, bud, but I’ve gotta get you back to the ship, okay.” She put her arms underneath his legs and behind his back. “Can you put your arms around my neck? I don’t want to drop you.” Ezra complied, smearing blood onto her shirt. I’m really sorry, Ez. Three...two...one,” Sabine counted down for him before using everything she had to lift up. He was lighter than she thought he would be. She staggered the few steps to the speeder before laying him down gently. With each step she took, she could feel his ribs grinding together.

As she was getting him situated on the bike, she was surprised when he grabbed her arm. Deep blue eyes, clouded by pain, stared into her light brown ones. “Sabine....don’t...,” Ezra choked out, before a coughing fit took over his body. Bright red blood splattered onto his orange flightsuit. He spat out a clump of blood, before meeting Sabine’s eyes again. “I’m...not worth it.”

“Ezra, don’t say that. Just hold on a few minutes longer, it’ll all be ok. Stay with me, bud.” Sabine ran around the speeder, hopped onto the seat. At first, she moved slowly, keeping the ride smooth and level, but soon she was almost flying across the grasslands, her passenger leaving a spotted trail of red through the tall plants. The girl only started to slow down when the _Ghost_ came into view.

As she decelerated, she jumped off the speeder, careful not to jar Ezra. She sprinted up the ramp to the ship, up to the cockpit. Hera was in the pilot’s seat, and Kanan in the copilot’s. They both jumped up as soon as they saw Sabine’s wide, tear filled eyes. “Guys, please come quick it’s Ezra I found him but he’s really hurt and I don’t know what to do,” The teen sputtered out, hyperventilating.

“Why didn’t you comm us?” Kanan all but yelled, frightening the Mandalorian more. Hera put a gentle hand on his arm to calm him.

“Let’s go see how he is before we see what happened.”

Sabine and Hera went to the medbay to get a stretcher, and Kanan ran down the ramp to get to his Padawan. “What can I do, what can I do, please tell me something to do,” the teenager begged the Twi-lek to give her something to help Ezra. She went to the cabinets with the bandages, but her hands were shaking so hard she couldn’t open the drawer. Hera turned and looked at Sabine.

“Go to Zeb and Ezra’s room. I’ll call Zeb back from where he was looking. He’ll want to know what’s going on. You’re in no condition to help.”

“But - “ Sabine was about to protest, but a stern look from Hera convinced her otherwise. She slowly left the medbay as Hera moved the stretcher outside.

When the Twi-lek arrived with the stretcher, she gasped at what she saw. Ezra, scratches all over his face and blood all over his makeshift bandaged arms, bone sticking out of his left leg through his flightsuit and his right leg facing in a way that looked extremely painful. “Oh, Ez,” she trailed off.

“Sabine moving him might have made him worse. I don’t know how she could have been so reckless,” Kanan said, anger barely restrained.

“Kanan, we don’t know what happened. I don’t think she would have done this without reason,” Hera gently said, pulling the stretcher over. “Right now, we need to get him to the medbay and get some more blood into him.”

Wordlessly, Kanan lifted the broken child with the Force, gently setting him on the stretcher. Hera took the front and pulled up the ramp, guiding Ezra onto the ship.

 ---

Meanwhile, Sabine was pacing the hallway, terrified to know what she would find in Ezra’s room. The doors from the common room whooshed open and Zeb came rumbling in. “Where’s the kid?” he asked gruffly. Sabine only moved faster, hyperventilating to try and stop the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. “Sabine, wha’ happened?” He knew something was wrong when tears overwhelmed her eyes; he had never seen he Mandalorian cry.

She turned around, fiercely hugging the Lasat. “C’mon, let’s go into my room,” Zeb said, ruffling her hair with one hand and the other gently rubbing her back.

He led her over to his bed, and she sat down, curling up into a ball. “You know Ezra went to the tower since we were on break, and- and he didn’t ch-check in a-and that’s wh-why we were sent to g-go f-find him a-and I w-went to the tower and th-that’s-s where I found him, Z-zeb, there was s-so much blood...” She trailed off, rocking back and forth. Zeb held her and let her cry into his fur. “I-it was like he....like h-he jump-ped...”

The Lasat got up and began pacing the small room, letting his eyes wander as he took in Ezra’s belongings and space. His bed was perfectly made - he never did that. His clothes were put away and not strewn all about the room like they usually were. A small pile of belongings were organized on his dresser - the datachip with the image of his parents, a stuffed loth-cat that he had found in the basement of his house, and his backpack that he usually carried everywhere. His lightsaber held a note down on top of the pile. “Oh, kid...” Zeb muttered to himself. He picked the note up, and Sabine walked over, peering at the words on the thin page.

 

_If you’re reading this, it’s probably too late._

_I want to thank you guys for taking someone like me in. I need to do this though. I’m sorry for always complaining and being such a burden this whole time. I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through and for all the mistakes I’ve made, and all the times I’ve failed you. I’m sorry for not being good enough._

_’m sorry for hurting you, Sabine._

_I’m sorry for provoking you, Zeb._

_I’m sorry for fighting you, Chopper._

_I’m sorry for annoying you, Hera._

_I’m sorry for failing you, Kanan._

_I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m sorry I let you down. You all deserve so much more than a failure like me._

_I’ve left my things here. Do what you want to with them._

 

_I’m sorry I’m such a mistake._

_Ezra_

 

“Oh, god,” Sabine said, tears streaming freely down her cheeks as she read the note over Zeb’s shoulder. “We need to show Hera.”

The teens raced down the hallway to the medbay, knocking on the door. Kanan stepped outside, and both kids tried to see how the kid was. “We- we found a note, Kanan...” Sabine handed the note over gently to Kanan, watching his face as he read the words. He collapsed to his knees, rereading what Ezra had written. Tears sprung to his sea green eyes before streaming down his chin and dripping to the durasteel. The Lasat and the Mandalorian sat down on either side of the Jedi, trying to comfort him. A few minutes later, Hera came out of the infirmary, her flightsuit covered in blood that wasn’t her own. All three of them jumped up at the sight of her boots.

“He’s stable for the time being. He lost a lot of blood, hit an artery, and broke a lot of bones, but he isn’t conscious yet and might not be for a while.” She paused, gathering her thoughts. “Do any of you know how long he’s been doing this to himself?”

The teenagers glanced at each other, mirrored looks of confusion and concern on their faces. “He’s c-cut himself before?” Sabine asked, struggling to accept the word. Hera nodded solemnly.

“Most likely. I knew there was some trauma from his past, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. Some of it could be from living on the streets, but there’s a lot there and it can’t have all come from there. When I cleaned off his arm, there was barely a patch of skin that wasn’t scar tissue, and there were a lot of scabs.” Hera explained. She swallowed, debating whether to tell them about the map of old wounds that covered Ezra’s body. “There’s not much more we can do for him now, we just have to wait for him to heal.”

Kanan and Zeb walked in the way of the common room, but Sabine hesitated by the door. “Hera?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes, Sabine?”

“Could I maybe sit with him for a little bit? I won’t mess with anything, I just want to be near him. See for myself how he is,” she asked. Seeing the green Twi-lek’s hesitation, she added, “I’ll bring my sketchbooks so I won’t be tempted to draw on his cast.”

Hera considered it for a minute, and hoped that she was making the right decision when she told the teenager that she could stay by Ezra’s side. She had heard that some people can hear those around them when they’re unconscious, but wasn’t sure if it was true or not. “I don’t see why not, but try not to be too loud.”

The Mandalorian turned to gather her art supplies when she remembered Ezra’s words. “Um, also there’s one more thing.” Sabine paused. “We found a note. Kanan has it.”

The captain nodded, and headed to the common room to find the Jedi.

 ---

There was already a desk and a chair in the medbay, for situations like this. Sabine pulled the desk right up beside the bed that Ezra’s still form was on with the covers pulled up to his neck and laid out her sketchbook and pencils. Flipping to a clean page, she started humming a Mandalorian lullaby as she slowly became absorbed into the colorful designs that swept across the paper.


	4. i want to know you (i want to see)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though he's unconscious, that doesn't stop Ezra from having nightmares.

_ All he could see was fog, swirling clouds that taunted and beckoned him. He followed them, stepping deeper into the mist.  _

_ A knife suddenly flew through the gloom, striking him in the stomach. He cried out, and suddenly he was falling through the air.  _

 

_ The only sensation the boy could feel was air rushing by his face as he tumbled into the  pitch blackness. His arms flailed out, trying to catch hold of something, anything. Rocks brushed up against his knuckles and tore skin from his fingers in long strips. Blood began to drip from the wounds.  _

_ Finally, he managed to catch a ledge with his fingertips. A sickening  _ pop _ echoed through the canyon and a burst of pain jolted through his arms as the boy’s fall was stopped suddenly. He carefully flung his other arm onto the rough surface, and his feet scrambled on the side of the cliff. One of his feet found purchase, and he rested for a moment. Once he gained a bit of energy back, the boy pushed on his leg, attempting to drag his body onto the ledge. The foothold broke under the pressure, sending bits of rock tumbling down the walls.  _

_ Dangling from his fingertips once more, he held on. Voices echoed from a hallway, and suddenly the area around him was brighter as a group of people came through a doorway onto the ledge where the boy hung. Five figures came to the edge of the landing, four tall, one short.  _

_ His crew was here.  _

“Help me,”  _ the boy croaked, his voice sore from screaming.  _

_ Kanan asked, _ “And why would we do that? You’re nothing. I try to teach you, but it’s impossible. It’s hard enough getting by everyday without having a troublemaker to keep an eye on.”

_ Sabine stepped forwards.  _ “All you’ve ever done is flirt with me. Y’know, I thought you’d get the point by now and leave me alone, but I guess not. It’s annoying as hell and I can’t stand it...or you.”

_ Zeb growled and struck one of his hands with his fist.  _ “You’re nothing but a loth-rat, Ever since you came on board, all I’ve wanted to do is get you off. You’re a nuisance. 

_ Hera chimed in from beside Kanan.  _ “All you do is get us into more trouble. Let’s face it - you’re not good enough. We would all be better off if you weren’t here.”

_ Chopper warbled something about him always getting in the way and breaking things.  _

_ The boy felt tears run down his face, leaving trails of salt in their wake.  _

_ Kanan stepped forwards once more, and with a mocking smile, stepped on the boy’s hand, grinding his boot into the bones as they cracked.  _

_ “Goodbye,  _ my padawan. _ ”  _

_ Their words echoed in his head as the boy fell into the darkness once more.  _

 

_ Slowly the ravine began to thin. The boy could feel the walls leading down. Suddenly, he hit the water that had carved its way through the rock for centuries. He gasped at the coldness, before beginning to flail in the deep rushing river. His arms moved slowly, but he managed to catch a breath before being plunged under and having to fight his way back to the surface. The movement jarred the wounds in his stomach and hand, but he had to keep his head above water somehow.  _

_ The roaring river grabbed at the boy’s body, trying to drag him under. He slowly began to notice the water moving quicker, pushing towards something where gravity would have its way with him again. Faster and faster he went, grasping at rocks and spluttering into the waves as the unforgiving water threatening to drown him.  _

_ He finally hit the edge of the waterfall, but this time, didn’t fall.  _

 

_ The boy landed on his hands and knees in the center of a fairly large room. It seemed as if what the people who he had trusted, called a family, had said to him was echoing around the room.  _

_ Once he stood up, he spun around, not knowing what was going to happen.  _ Not good enough. _ There was no exit from what he could see, no doors, no windows, just endless tan walls that were...getting closer? The words were getting louder.  _ Nuisance.

_ He stopped his turning to try and figure out what was going on.  _ Failure. _ The boy put his ear against the wall, and hearing no mechanics within, tried pushing on the surface to try and stop its movement.  _ In the way.  _ The effort was futile, though, and the walls moved ever closer.  _ Annoying.

_ Within moments, the box had shrunk down to a six by six meter box, and the sides continued pressing in. At three meters, the ceiling began to move down, closing him in more. The boy curled up into a ball in the middle of the room, tears streaming down his face and breaths coming quick and short as he struggled to calm himself. By now, it seemed as if his crew was screaming what a failure he was at him.  _

_ “ _ Stop, please just stop...” _ he sobbed.  _

_ There was a strange pull on one of his arms when the wall hit his back, two others at his sides, one at the tops of his shoes. The ceiling hit a mop of dark blue hair on top of his head.   _

_ They continued to press in, and the boy reached his breaking point.  _

“STOP IT!” _ he screamed,  _ using the Force to push everything away. 

 

\---

 

Sabine had nearly fallen asleep on her art when she heard Ezra start to mumble in his sleep. She wasn’t overly concerned, everyone talks in their sleep at some point. 

But then he started to thrash around, as if trying to stay above water. She tried talking him down, and when that didn’t work, she called out for her found family.  “Hera, Kanan, Zeb, I need you guys down here, he won’t calm down and I don’t know what to do,” she spoke into her helmet’s comm, trying to hold down the arm with the worst of his injuries to prevent him accidentally ripping the wounds open again.

“We’ll be right down, ‘bine,” Hera replied. 

She tried stroking his hair, telling him to hold on for just a bit longer. The Jedi, Twi'lek, and Lasat burst into the room, and immediately sprung into action. “Zeb, can you hold down his feet?” Kanan asked, trying to catch his padawan’s other arm. Slowly Ezra’s actions slowed, and the crew sighed in relief. 

Hera started looking over the bandages, checking to see if he had managed to tear open the cuts that littered his wrists.

“stop...” Ezra moaned from the bed. “please, just stop...”

“I know it hurts, bud, but I’ve gotta make sure they’re clean.” 

The boy began to curl up on himself, and Hera tried to pull his arm out to continue to inspect it. 

 

Suddenly, without warning, Ezra snapped.

“ _ STOP! _ ” he screamed, a shockwave travelling throughout the medbay. Everyone and everything in the room was pushed violently away from the blue eyed boy. The IV bag burst, crates toppled over, the vent clanged open, and supplies went flying.

 

Ezra opened his eyes, frantic and tense, and saw the damage he caused. His quick blue eyes didn’t fail to notice the escape route that he had created, and, fearing his crew’s wrath, took off inside the vents.


	5. i want to say (hello)

“Sabine, we need to talk about what happened,” Kanan stated, trying to keep his anger at bay. All but one of the crew members sat gathered in the common room, walls seeming more grey than usual.

“My comm wasn’t working, and that’s why I couldn’t contact you guys for a pickup...”

“When you found him,” Hera tried to finish Sabine’s thought.

“No, wait. Ezra broke his comm the mission before last right? I let him borrow my wrist comm for this mission. He said that he heard you give him the go to let the place blow, when you didn’t. Then later, it wasn’t working when I...when I found him at his tower.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I tried it a bunch of times, and nothing worked.”

“Can I check it out?” Kanan asked. Sabine tossed him the tiny device, before walking out of the room distractedly.

 

\---

 

She wandered down the hallway, turning the input volume up on her helmet so she might get a clue as to where Ezra was in the ship. After a few minutes of listening closely and getting no result, Sabine sighed and began stripping off her armour.  _ I’m the smallest one left, if Ezra didn’t come out soon, I’d be sent up there anyways, _ she thought. Within moments, it was neatly piled on the floor. She decided to leave on her boots, in case something sharp were to cut her foot. With the amount of dust up there, that would leave her out of missions if she got an infection. 

The closest vent was, of course, straight up. The cover had already been taken off, probably by Ezra, which made climbing up slightly easier. The Mandalorian crouched before leaping, arms straight up to catch the edge. Her fingertips made contact, and she grasped the metal as hard as she could. Sabine’s training made it easier to use her upper body and pull her into the vent. 

She lay on her stomach, feeling the cool, almost cold air push gently around her, the cool metal on her face. Slowly, she began to slide along the floor, her hips screaming in protest every time she hit a seam.

As Sabine moved along, she began noticing small specks of blood on the wall that became more frequent the further she got. 

At a junction of the vents, she found him for the second time. Lips slightly blue, skin too pale to be healthy, scabs pulled open. 

She considered herself fortunate, however, because only a few meters back was a vent covered in spray paint - her room. In the limited space, Sabine managed to rotate his body so she could pull him along towards the opening. Using her boot, the Mandalorian smashed the vent with her foot, slamming metal into metal until the vent gave way with a large  _ crash _ . 

Eventually, she managed to pull Ezra onto her bed, too still for comfort. 

_ Think. Think. Think, _ Sabine thought to herself.  _ Bandage first. Stop the bleeding, and then warm up.  _ She gently hopped down from the mattress, turning on the lights before going straight for the medkit she stored in her room.  _ He needs bacta. _ She took the tube she had, a couple swabs, and a large amount of cloth bandages. 

Climbing back up to the bunk, Sabine got her second good look at the damage he had done to himself. “I’m so sorry,  _ gods  _ I wish I knew, I should have done something more!” Holding back tears, she went to work slathering the medicine onto his arms and wrapping them as gently as she could. Once she finished she covered him in her blanket, along with a few extras she kept. 

_ Rest. Rest is probably the best thing for him now, _ she thought. She turned out the lights and went to leave, but paused in the doorway. 

“Udesiir, vod’ika.” 

_ Rest peacefully, brother. _

Something felt right inside Sabine as she closed the door. 


End file.
